


This isn't living

by LazyStudent



Category: Naruto
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 02:57:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9103447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazyStudent/pseuds/LazyStudent
Summary: Obito survived the mission, the fourth is alive, and so is the Uchiha Clan. How did these change things? Simple. Sakura went through a horrible life, tortured and broken beyond repair she strives for relief of her pain. M for swearing, violence ( duh ninjas). Romance later on maybe.





	1. Chapter 1

She felt blood slip through her fingers, the red liquid landing on the grass. She lifted up her head slowly, dull emerald eyes staring at her father. She had just successfully killed someone for the first time at the young age of six.

No one new how she lived, no one ever bothered. Her father always seemed like a nice man to everyone, and she was his perfect smart little daughter. But that was just an illusion, nothings ever perfect.

Right know she looked down at a ninja she had killed. His blood seeping out of his throat and onto the once green grass. He was a ninja from the Village Hidden in the Clouds; she slowly traced his features with her eyes.

The man had bandages rapped around the top part of his head and his cloud forehead protector was set across his face covering his right eye, with a short beard… she wanted to gag.

She couldn't observe any more or feel any kind of sickness catch up with her as she fell to the ground with a large stinging pain erupting in her left cheek.

Her pink hair sprayed across the ground leaving sticks and leaves in it. Holding back the tears that will soon come later she stood up and faced her father.

She felt pure hatred towards him. He wasn't even her true father. Her real parents had died because of an experimental weapon gone wrong. She was sent to an orphanage along with another girl whose parents also died in the accident. Tenny? Ten? Tenten? She honestly couldn't remember.

They were friends for a short period of time… until he decided to adopt her. He was very nice to people, especially important ones. He had short brown hair with gray eyes, light skinned, and a medium stature; he was also a jonin ninja. His name was Satoshi Sazuma, and she was Sakura Haruno Sazuma.

Sakura was snapped back into reality as she saw a kunai hurdle towards her. She tried to jump away but her small body and gravity wouldn't allow it, and so she was hit in the thigh, the kunai cutting deep.

She tried to suppress a scream knowing that if she didn't the pain will only get worse.

"Get up. We need to leave before someone sees you." His gruff voice echoed in the forest we were in.

'Oh, that's right.' She quickly thought. She wasn't supposed to be here outside the gates. This was a mission for her father only. But of course he would bring her just to show her what it's like in the real world, to know the feeling of killing another human being.

She felt sick to her stomach not knowing if it's from the blood, the body three feet away from her or the monster she was about to follow to go back to that hell of a home, where everyone is happy.

She watched as Satoshi jumped and landed on top of a tree branch. He sneered down at her and turned away. "I expect you to be at the house in 12 minute if not… well don't keep me waiting." He then left.

She stood there, not sure on how to react. She tried to walk, but the pain in her leg was too much and she fell to the ground. She rolled on her back and finally let the tears fall from her eyes. She felt her teeth clench as she looked up at the blurry sky.

Sakura slowly stood up off the ground and stared at the kunai in her leg. She wrapped her small hands around the kunai. Gritting her teeth she forced it out, and threw the offending object away from her, letting a slight yelp escape her.

She watched the blood run down her black pant leg and down her foot. She quickly tore a piece of her black shirt and wrapped it around her thigh. She tried running as best as she could toward the village. She didn't want Satoshi to come get her, that would be bad.

She had already wasted five minutes and that left her with seven. It took her about four minutes to sneak through the gates. It was easier since it wasn't her first time doing it.

Satoshi had always brought her on his solo missions so she could watch as he killed his targets, and then leave her. This was the first time she had to kill a target for him. Besides that getting through the gate was easy, the guards were always asleep so she could get by quicker.

She sneered slightly as she wasted two more minutes running and avoiding people. 'One minute' she thought frantically as her time was almost up.

'5'

'4' She passed the last house.

'3'

'2' She ran up the steps.

'1'

She was only a few millimeters away from the door when it opened wide showing a furious Satoshi.

She couldn't even react as she felt a harsh pull drag her into the small home. She whimpered slightly and looked up at Satoshi but only black out in the process.

… (Sakura POV)

"Wake up you damn brat." I heard as I finally regained consciousness. Looking up I saw my so called father look down on me. My eyes scanned around trying to take in some of my surroundings.

From what I can tell we were in the cellar at the bottom of the house. A shiver went up my spine as I remembered what happened to me here.

The scars I got from enduring his beatings and new torture methods. I just stared at a large dark spot that soiled the floor. It was the blood from my last beating, when I didn't greet an Uchiha member properly. Yes it was always about image with him.

I snapped out of my thoughts as I saw him shift in front of me. "You were late." He said closing his eyes and setting a chair in front of me so he didn't have to stand.

"I was almost through the door." I monotonously stated. I had learned to suppress my emotions to the absolute extent of not feeling anything that involves them, by feeding them to my inner self.

My inner was a persona I created to take all the pain I had to go through.

She sometimes helps me go through some things by switching but if we do we pass out afterwards from the mental strain it causes. She had been quite for a while, so I knew she wouldn't help now.

My chest suddenly felt pressure on it, as I realized he had kicked me in the chest and stepped on it applying bone crushing pressure.

Wheezing I looked toward his face to see him glaring at me, "That wasn't good enough." He growled.

He took his foot off my chest and stood up. He then did something that I despised so much that I wanted to die so I wouldn't have to see anything like it again.

He had a wide and bright smile plastered on his face, one that a father should always show his children. But to me it was as if death came to see her personally.

He slowly left the room leaving me. I crawled toward the nearest corner on my good leg, so I could feel a little protection. I huddled into a ball and sat there for god knows how long.

…

I jerked my head up in fear as I saw him re-enter the cellar. He didn't have that smile anymore but instead a small one full of malice. "Look Saki-chan I got you a gift." I couldn't help but feel my fear rise, he only said Saki-chan when we were in public or if he was doing harm to me.

I finally noticed what was in his hands as he lifted two long chains that were each connected to a shackle. They looked different because instead of just space for your wrist in the shackle part there, was a large needle in the middle.

My eyes widened as I figured out what it was for. He must have noticed because he started chuckling like a maniac. I now saw that he had me cornered, so I couldn't try to run. I tried sinking low into the corner, but I knew my efforts were futile.

He bent down and grabbed one of my small arms. Filled with fear I tried yanking my arm back but it had no effect as he put the shackle around my wrist and clamped it down locking it in place.

I heard a loud scream which I soon realized was mine as the pain of the thick needle went through my flesh and bone in my wrist.

I didn't even notice the second shackle until the unbearable pain surged through my other wrist. Tears fell out of my eyes as I screamed in agony. My lungs felt like they were on fire, and my wrist felt like a large boulder squished them.

Blood dripped down my arms like a waterfall as I tried to suppress my scream, knowing that no one will hear me down her except him, and I didn't want him to have the satisfaction of hearing me suffer.

He let me go and it caused me to fall to the ground, holding up my wrist. I felt the pressure of a foot push against my head as I was uncontrollably sobbing. I could barely hear passed myself in my disoriented state.

"Oh Saki-chan. I thought I should give you a new look. Anyways these are special shackles because they don't come off know matter what; you'll have to cut off your wrist to get them off. I also got a big size so you could grow into them. I'm sure they're going to cause you pain from now on.

We also have new rules… Always hide these when we are out of the house or with someone else. If you show and tell someone… well I'll just kill you."

He got up to leave but stopped at the cellar door, and turned his head with a huge smile on his face.

"Oh, I almost forgot happy birthday, daughter."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi still has the Sharingan just so you guys know.
> 
> 'Bold and in italics'-Inner sakura
> 
> 'Just italics' - Thoughts

(Time skip 5 years) (Sakura POV)

It's been five long years of pain I had been through

Satoshi had been knocked into a coma during an above A- rank mission a year ago. I didn't know until a messenger knocked on my door and handed me a yellow envelope containing the news.

He tried to apologize, but I just waved him off not caring in the slightest.

I had shut the door and my back slid down it. I was in shock. I didn't know how I should have felt.

Being able to show emotions after such a long time, made me not want to start now, so I didn't besides… he wasn't dead.

I stayed emotionless.

People, ninja and citizens alike felt pity for me. They would stop me on my walk to the library or to the store to get food and either ask if I was alright, or to say their condolences.

To them he was the kindest man in the world. What thick- headed ignorant people, being tricked by a façade he made to protect his pride.

It angered me on how they pitied me. I didn't want their pity. All I wanted was the pain to stop.

I had packed my things and took the money he had stored and moved so I wouldn't have to relive those traumatizing memories, and have a small part of freedom. I knew it wouldn't last forever though… He'll wake up at some point, and take away my little happiness I have created. I lived in a small apartment that had one bedroom and a bathroom with a small closet. My wardrobe consisted of black everything and some white.

Mostly black short sleeved shirts and long black pants, I also always wear a white jacket that has bell shaped sleeves and a large hood that I usually always have up.

I wore the jacket and long pants to hide my scars that show on my legs, back, and arms, especially my arms. He always aimed for places that could be covered.

Satoshi's chains that I got when I turned seven were still on my wrists, and like he said to me that day, I felt every movement I made with them on, and it caused me so much pain, even after a year he still causes me to suffer. But I still never showed anyone what he did to me... It wasn't their concern.

All you could hear under my jacket was the sharp clanking noise that comes from the chains moving.

It took me a few months to completely figure out how to hide them, and in those months I was beaten mercilessly if I let even a small noise resound from them, or if someone had seen them.

But now since he is in the hospital I let them make noise whenever I wanted, which was usually always. It didn't matter if people looked at me strangely as I walked by; they were all irrelevant to me.

I had no purpose, but still I had one small goal I created. Something that could contradict what my very beliefs are.

-(semi-flashback)-

The night I saw a ninja return from his mission and to his home.

I had been walking away from the library when I had seen a tired man dressed in Anbu gear walk the steps of a nice small looking house. Before he could even knock, the door flung open and he was engulfed in a strong hug, from what seemed to be his wife.

Then after a few seconds two small little boys came out and hugged the couple, both of them sniffling.

I stood their near a tree feeling out of place, and new to the scene of affection that had been displayed.

Do ninjas really love their family? Do they care that their family loves them? These questions filled my head as I looked on. A feeling of longing hit, but I suppressed it and fed it to my Inner self.

After what seemed like hours they went back inside and something small swelled up in my chest. I wanted to protect these moments. I had decided that since my happiness was over I would sacrifice anything to have others keep their happiness.

So I went to the Ninja Academy.

…

I put on my usual attire making sure it covered all the disgusting scars and opened my window. Today was graduation day, where I finally get a team.

Putting chakra in my feet I walked up on the building's roof and quickly jumped from rooftop to rooftop to get to the Academy.

I had learned a lot from visiting the ninja sections in the library; of course the guards pitied me as well and let me through the genin area. Reading hundreds of scroll and practicing each technique that I could use later on.

But since my chakra levels are poor I use exercises every day such as walking on trees and water to build my chakra. Also having perfect chakra control helped immensely.

Right now I have mastered the body flicker technique, and just the regular teleportation Jutsu which leaves burnt cherry blossom petals behind, instead of smoke.

…

I finally reached the red building in front of me and jumped down walking through the doors and into the classroom. I was always the first one here so I took a seat at the very back.

Sitting in the very corner I took out a book I had in my sweater pocket and started reading.

The book was old but looked brand new as it hasn't been checked out much. It was a medical book that had some Justus and techniques on healing the injured. But honestly I just wanted to see the ways to kill a person with it.

Simple and easier than I thought one touch could have you paralyzed if you know how to do it.

Sitting for about thirty minutes people started to come in sitting in their usual seats, and since Iruka wasn't here yet the girls started squealing about whose going to be on their team and gushing over the Namikaze and Uchiha, and the boys were either glaring or groaning in irritation.

After another five minutes Iruka sensei walked in and hushed the screaming children and called roll.

"Sakura Sazuma?" he voiced looking up expectantly.

Cringing slightly because of that name I raised my hand instead of voicing my arrival. He noticed and nodded and went to the next person.

No one ever noticed my existence except Iruka sensei, because the majority of everyone's attention was towards the Namikaze and Uchiha that set in the middle of the classroom.

Since the girls claim they have sex appeal… ew. I guess I don't see what they see, a prideful chicken ass and a short blonde.

Sighing I put my head down, patiently waiting for what team I'm going to be in.

(Normal POV)

"Alright class, since you all past the exams you will be placed on your very own teams.

First up Team 5…Team 6…Team 7 Naruto Namikaze, Sasuke Uchiha…and Sakura Sazuma."

Cue the screams and groans.

Sakura put her head up and saw how everyone was dumbfounded as they didn't know who she was exactly even Naruto and Sasuke where looking.

Her eye twitched ever so slightly. ' ** _Seriously how hard is it to see a bright white ass jacket!? Not that hard!_** ' Inner Sakura growled.

Sakura ignored her and decided to listen as Iruka called the names of each team's sensei.

"Team 7 has Kakashi… you might have to wait for him."

Ten minutes went by and sensei's came, took their teams, and went, as Iruka was about to leave them as well Naruto interrupted his escape.

"Hold up Iruka sensei where's are third teammate!?"He shouted as the Uchiha grunted.

Iruka sighed but didn't have to say anything as Sakura lifted her arm up and let the clanking noise of the chains blare out, startling everyone in the room including Iruka.

Both Naruto and Sasuke's heads shot upward as they finally noticed the white hoodie wearing girl in the corner.

"You rang." Sakura stated sounding tired but far from it.

"Hey, we never noticed you up there! My names Naruto Namikaze and this teme is Sasuke Uchiha! The blond cheerfully announced.

"I'm not a bastard Dobe." Sasuke said as he punched Naruto in the arm.

"Seriously teme now she probably thinks were weird or something!"

"Hn. She's probably another fangirl."

Iruka had already left after their quarrel began, and that just left the three of them alone.

Sakura decided to stay where she was hoping the two boys would quite down soon.

"Hey aren't you gonna put your hood down?" Naruto asked as he stared at Sakura.

Receiving no answer from her, he stood up and was about to go over towards her until Sasuke grabbed his arm and forcefully set him down again.

"Dobe let it go."

Naruto let out a large sigh and turned his head toward the door, filled with excitement and curiosity for his new sensei and teammate that he's never seen before.

But of course he already knew who Kakashi was since he was his dad's student, Sasuke already knew him as well because he was his brother and cousin's friend, and once teammate on Anbu missions.

… (2 hours later)

"AAAAhhhh where is Kakashi sensei!?" Naruto yelled as he slammed his hands on the table.

"Calm down Dobe."

But before Naruto could retort the door opened and Kakashi's head popped out. Scanning the room he sighed.

"Meet me on the roof." With that he disappeared leaving smoke.

Naruto and Sasuke both got up and walked toward the door.

"Hey aren't you coming with us?" Naruto called up toward her, while slightly moving his head to see what her face looked like.

Sakura looked up and disappeared in her unique cherry blossom, leaving Naruto along with Sasuke dumbfounded.

…

She appeared on the roof and noticed her sensei sitting on a ledge in front of a bench. He had and orange book that she recognized that was sometimes at the library.

She wanted to roll her eyes but instead went to sit on the bench facing him.

He seemed to not have noticed her or was just ignoring her as he kept reading his pornographic novel.

She set their on the left side of the bench and stared at the ground waiting for her other teammates to get here.

Two minutes later they heard the door open and footsteps walk in. The boys took their seats, Naruto in the middle, and Sasuke on the right.

Sakura could feel them twitch with irritation, but she could careless as she watched her new sensei finally put his book down.

Kakashi looked at his students and eyed each one, already knowing Naruto and Sasuke so his eye lingered on his only female student.

Her file read that she was more antisocial then a regular person, she was once an orphan, she hid herself, and the sound of chains would resound in her sleeves.

He mentally raised an eyebrow at that. She also was average in everything and excellent in the knowledgeable area.

He thanked Kami that he didn't have a fangirl, and a team he could actually work with.

He casted his glance back over the whole team now and cleared his throat.

"Let's introduce are selves now if that's alright? Like your name, likes, dislikes, and your goals."

"You go first Kakashi sensei!" the blond yelled out.

Kakashi sighed at his outburst knowing he got it from his mother's side.

"Ok, well my name is Kakashi Hatake, my likes are none of your business, I don't really like anything, and my goals? I don't feel like telling you that either. You go first Naruto.

Naruto and Sasuke glared while Sakura sighed but Naruto decided to speak.

"My name is Naruto Namikaze, my likes are ramen, training and my family, my dislikes are the three minutes it takes to make instant ramen, and my goal is to become the Hokage so people can respect me for what I can do an for not who I am!"

"Okay… Sasuke?"

"Hn," Sasuke grunted, but continued, "My name…is Sasuke Uchiha. I hate some things. I like family, training, and tomatoes. My dream is to surpass my brother."

Kakashi blinked, "Okay last but not least Sakura?"

Sakura sighed the hundredth time today as she felt how their stares seem to drill holes in her and besides that her inner was ranting off the irritation she was slightly feeling.

"My name is Sakura. I hate a lot of things. I like very little, and I have no dream...happy?"

Kakashi along with Naruto and Sasuke just stared at her for a while.

Sakura noticing this stared straight at them knowing her whole face was covered in shadow, as the sun was setting. She decided to mess with them a little.

"Is there something on my face?" She asked breaking them from their trance.

"Oh wait, I guess you can't see it any ways…"She said as she laughed voice slightly bitter.

"Sensei I think it's time to go don't you think." She asked as she stood up.

"Right…tomorrow will be survival training, meet me at the training grounds, tomorrow, at 6 a.m. Oh and don't eat anything or you'll throw up." He teleported away seconds later.

Sakura did the same leaving Naruto and Sasuke confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought about killing off Satoshi before the time skip but I ended up keeping him in the story to make it more interesting and hectic.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N - So how was that? Don't know what the pairing should be yet, but that won't be for a while…
> 
> Anyways the storyline is going to change a lot since a lot of major events changed…
> 
> P.S Does anyone have an idea on who she killed? 
> 
> P.S.S Next chapter is going to be a time skip.


End file.
